Sunday, March 16, 2008

Then Lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch Towards thy Foe, who, Being Naughty in my Sight, Shall Snuff it

Something light and fun and totally not easy in the least, for the weeks end. I've been tagged by laughingatchaos with a six word memoir meme. I'm a bit fuzzy on the details but from what I can ascertain, I'm supposed to sum up my life in six words. No more. No less. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three six. Five is right out. [and the title plus that last part is for the Monty Python Holy Grail fans, for thou shalt be thy only ones to get-eth it-eth]. So, without further ado but with plenty of thought; the memoirs of my life in six words (six versions):

Consumes wine with feet in mouth.

Sweating the small stuff since 1971.

Exists on copious amounts of coffee.

Puts out for jewelry and vodka.

Mother. Wife. Sister. Daughter. Friend. Hoo-er.

Blazed a path straight to hell.

Convincingly has her shit together, sorta.

Now to go and give others something to do. I'm tagging June Cleaver Nirvana, Bad Mom, and because she was just lamenting that she's all dried up for blog fodder; The Mom Bomb. But personally, I think she's full of crap.

27 comments:

Cheri said...

Thou art brilliant. I'm sure it says that in the Book of Armaments.asvpoa

Cheri said...

Argh. Sorry about the asvpoa. I didn't realize my cursor was still in the comments section when I typed in the word verification.

I'm having keyboard issues. Flax seed are the culprit. How did they get in my keyboard? Long story.

Cheri said...

Should say "flax seeds." See, the "S" is affected.

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

Such genius should never be limited to just six little words. Way to turn it into 42!

Tim the Enchanter said...

And blow thyne enemies to tiny bits...

That movie (next to Airplane!) is one of my favorites. Roger, Roger, what's your vector Victor?

-Stu

anglophilefootballfanatic said...

I'm impressed with the Monty Python shout out. I actually used Holy Hand Grenades as my Fantay Football Team last year.

Caution said...

Here's another one: A day isn't complete without reading this blog. (sorry, no good in math)

P.S. I never heard of picnik until I found this blog. THANK-YOU!!

Karen said...

Love that! Such thoughtful descriptiveness.

stephanie said...

Yours are terrific. (I especially love the last one).

I think I can do this, considering I assigned it to my creative writing students earlier in the quarter. And if a bunch of apathetic teenagers can give it a go, so can I. Dammit.

Lisa Milton said...

They cover these on the local news this morning, and they are quite boring, compared to yours.

{Love the 1971 quote.}

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

Laughin out loud at Vintage Thirty.

jennifer h said...

These were great. My favorite was "Puts out for jewelry and vodka."

slow panic said...

puts out for jewelry and vodka was my favorite to. love them all.

LaskiGal said...

I thought I had a favorite . . . now, I read them again and you know, they all work. Though, I'm kinda likin' the "Sweating the small stuff . . . "

laughingatchaos said...

Hey, good job! LOL! I like the vodka and jewelry one, but the "has her shit together" has to be my favorite.

MamaGeek said...

Now THAT was genius material. Hilarious!

Angie said...

fun to read and learn more

but find myself counting each word

instead of reading, enjoying and retaining

had to read a second time


KEEP BELIEVING

Tootsie Farklepants said...

Cheri~ and here I thought it was just the one seed.

BBM~ Yep. I worked it. LOL!

anglofilefootballfanatic~ I might be a little bit in love with you for that.

Angie~ That was very clever. It took me a second to realize what you did there.

Et al~ You all are so sweet and I just want you to know that I am so honored that you guys take the time to read here AND comment! It makes my day!

JCK said...

Now THAT was fun and creative! I don't know which is my favorite, although I do love "puts out for jewelry and vodka."

Maan...I NEVER get the short, cool memes.

Resentful blogger dishing out crap everyday. [That's me!] Perhaps good that you did not tag me.

Michelle Hix said...

Puts out for jewelry and vodka? ha ha

HRH said...

Tell JCK I will tag her for this one. Thanks for the tag on a quick meme. Can I just borrow one of your six brilliant ones? I don't think I could top any one of them. Love the Monty...

THE MOM BOMB said...

These were brilliant. And thanks for a meme that doesn't involve a ginormous list. I'll have you know you are not the first person who's told me I'm full of crap.

Colleen said...

You had me at "Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch".

standing still said...

I wish we could get together and hit up some people for vodka and jewelry. That'd be a fun little mommy outing.

Mr Lady said...

I got-eth it-eth. I lovedethed it.

dkuroiwa said...

A "hoo-er"? Really? Can you call yourself that?
I love these...vodka, jewelry, wine, paths to hell...yeah...you're a good person...glad I found you!!
:-D

jenny gardiner said...

I"m in trouble. My friend Manic Mommy tipped me off to June Cleaver Nirvana's blog which I loved, then I followed it to yours and all of these others and now I will never have time to get work done because I will be reading these blogs!
Anyhow, love your memes--very very clever!
Hoo-er...LOL