Monday, March 3, 2008

I'm Almost Square Shaped

The only show worth watching is The Office. I just can't bring myself to watch any of the other crap that's out there. So to say that I'm unfamiliar with much of today's pop culture is a grand understatement. When several friends were horrified to learn that I had never watched one single episode of Desperate Housewives, I pinkie swore that I would give it a chance. "You loved Melrose Place! You'll LOVE this!", and because they're my friends, I trusted them. I watched one episode and then my life called and wanted its hour back. The only thing these two shows have in common is Marcia "Have You Seen My Forehead" Cross. I was disappointed in my friends for misleading me. I was a fan of Law and Order for many years until it started procreating and producing red-headed step children. What it didn't produce was any originality. The stories were the same, the characters all eerily similar, and the same craptastic snappy, predictable dialog. One thing is for certain in this world, when studios find a formula that works, they bathe in it. Hence: Numbers, Bones, Crossing Jordan, Missing, Cold Case, Medium...just to name a few. And not to be forgotten, C.S.I. and all its sundry locations. Although I may tune in to C.S.I.: Papua New Guinna and the episode featuring a yam root hunter under suspicion for his common law wife's murder. Much of it would have to be subtitled, of course, but that's okay because reading subtitles makes me feel fancy. Although, really? I have forensic science fatigue.

I also can't stand reality tv. Really? The Bachelor? Are you kidding me with this? A bunch of women competing over one guy? Five words ladies: other fish in the sea. And then there are like 87 shows where the contestants have to live in a secret house and people get voted off; and the requisite 3 judge panel. I enjoyed the first couple of seasons of Survivor but even that became...tropical...blah..blah..blah..built a fire...blah..blah..form alliance...blah...blah.. split a banana between 8 people...blah..blah.. rapid weight loss...blah..blah...immunity...blah..blah... Jeff Probst. Then when I was inundated with previews for Dance Wars: Carrie Ann vs Bruno, I was like, "who the hell are these people and why am I supposed to be on a first name basis with them?". So I'm quite happy with my reruns of I Love Lucy, Home Improvement, The Golden Girls, Seinfeld, Frasier, Will and Grace, The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, and Sex and the City. Because really? When they ended SATC, a piece of my pop culture affection died. It was only sustained by The Sopranos and Deadwood. Oh, that's right. Those are done too. Well, fuck.

22 comments:

Melissa said...

Amen, Sistah. The only new show worth watching in the past few years is Pushing Daisies. I do love the reruns of Malcolm in the Middle, though. Dysfunctional family fun always made me laugh.

jennifer h said...

I still mourn The Sopranos. I might still be in the denial phase. Which is why I have the occasional dream about Tony Soprano. You don't want details.

You are way more evolved than I am, but I watch much less TV these days. (oh wait, that's just because of the writers strike)

Slow Panic said...

Hey Lost is REALLY good. That's the only thing I watch. Couldn't take DH and NO REALITY TV. what is wrong with these people?

I miss SATC so much. ooooh loved Deadwood. how about Sex Feet Under?

well, it's all over as far as I'm concerned.

Jenn @ Juggling Life said...

At the risk of letting you down, may I put in my plug for Friday Night Lights? It is some great story-telling (although I sorta doubt the people in small-towns in Texas are quite as attractive as these people, but whatever).

The Bachelor? Makes me throw up a little in my mouth.

Colleen said...

I was (and still am) an outcast in most circles because I cannot stand reality TV. Only watch American Idol the last couple weeks to see what truly gifted performers will lose and what 2nd-rate singer will win.
I have to admit, I love NUMB3RS...the chemistry between Charlie, Don, and their dad is really great...you don't often see it in a drama...and I'm a huge nerd. I also like Bones because of similar reasons. Most other shows out there, however, annoy me (although Chuck and Pushing Daisies looked promising before those writers went on strike...those two shows would make me laugh a lot). And I kind of like Medium...partly because it's so incredibly refreshing to have a leading lady who's not 5'8" and 110 lbs...she looks real and she acts real. Ok. So I am a bit of a TV junkie, but I have gotten pickier about what I watch anymore since it does seem worn-out.

Karen said...

I am so glad that I am not the only person in the world that does not watch TV. I don't even know what's on anymore.

Burgh Baby's Mom said...

There was a time when Desperate Housewives really was a good show. It was for about ten minutes in the first season. Since then, it's been all down hill.

I'm a big fan of Prison Break. I could care less that the plot makes zero sense. I just like seeing Wentworth and Dominic look pretty. They do it well.

Other than that? Lost does rock, but you can't just suddenly start watching that. I have hope for Pushing Daisies, but we'll see how long they can sustain the premise. I fear it may already be headed downhill.

Melissa said...

I had forgotten about Pushing Daisies..love this show and also Dirty Sexy Money.

And yes, a little piece of me died when SATC went off the air...

stu said...

Stephanie and I are still suckers for Survivor. We have also been sucked into Lost. The Simpsons has been a staple show of mine since season 1. Other than that I watch Mythbusters and Dirty Jobs.

-Stu

PS: has the dog recovered from the bath or does she still smell like ass?

Madame Queen said...

I still mourn for Arrested Development. And Buffy. God, I miss Buffy.

Jennifer said...

I will second Jenn @ Juggling Life and say Friday Night Lights is the best show in television...which is exactly why they're trying to cancel it.

But I will say, as a native Texan who grew up in a Dillon-esque town, we do have hot people here. That's accurate.

Groovy Mom said...

I've never seen an episode of Desperate Housewives either. I will confess that I love Survivor, though. I love practicing my people reading skills and predicting what will go down next, but you're right, it is pretty much the same show every season.

Mrs. G. said...

The Office is my favorite show! I am a Dwight Shrute groupie. But I did love Deadwood.

Angie said...

Scrubs? you like Scrubs? I like it for being slightly original and silly. Office is the best, though. Reality TV bites - nothing real about ANY of it.

KEEP BELIEVING

Jan said...

My solution, I just don't watch TV. When my husband was recently out of town, for 6 days, I didn't turn it on, at all. Bliss.

JCK said...

I agree with you 100%. About everything. Especially hate those reality shows. But, I am obsessed with LOST as you know, and it is awesome. Great writing and most of the actors are top notch, with theater training under their belts. And the men aren't hard to look at ...let me tell you.

laughingatchaos said...

My God, I sooo want to hang with you. ; ) I watch almost no tv, and certainly NO reality tv...unless you count the news. ; ) There's just nothing out there worth my remaining brain cells. Battlestar Galactica (the new one on SciFi) is worth it, but the new season doesn't start until next month.

HRH said...

Agree with you--especially L&O...what went wrong? I do like Project Runway, but that's about it. I do feel lucky because I am just catching SATC for the first time which is really fun...and I don't have to wait a whole week for another new episode. Yes, I am pathetic. Very pathetic.

Crafty Mom said...

I, too, have never seen an episode of DH. The only "reality" tv I watch is Project Runway and WNTW. I do love Pushing Daisies and Heroes.

Motherwise said...

I live on reruns. It seems like there is no originality and what exactly does "reality" mean when their is nothing that isn't planned on those shows. The only thing dumber is that people still are watching them.

standing still said...

I came late to The Office fan club, after my neighbor's brother said I look like Pam. Go figure.

Nibbles said...

I know this post was over four months ago, but I'm commenting anyway.

SATC ending ruined my life. I didn't get into it until, well, probably around the time of this post, so I just downloaded all the episodes and watched them in the mornings before leaving for work while eating breakfast and doing hair and such (plus hours at a time on weekends). I was incredibly upset after the last one, and went to Desperate Housewives for comfort. DW is a terrible show.

Since then, I've been avoiding most shows, though I think It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia is fantastic lately. My favorite show of all time is a British comedy from about a decade ago called Spaced. So good.