She'll let a Stranger French Braid her Hair but Cry if I Brush it, W-H-A-T-E-V-E-R

Once upon a time, there was a toddler named Girl-Child Farklepants. For much of the first year of her life, she was bald. Finally sometime after her first birthday, her hair started to grow! Except it only grew on the top, in the front, and in the back. Not on the sides.


Girl-Child was a victim of the accidental mullet. Her mother wept openly at the diagnosis, but vowed to be strong and let nature take its course. It was hard. So HARD to be patient. Girl-Child Farklepants had very bad hair. It was awful. A disaster. Which is a damn shame because her mom has bitchen hair [except for that one unfortunate Dorothy Hamill fiasco when she was 9 and everyone thought she was a boy...oh, and that time she cut it all off after her first was born; the horror]. It's kinda her mom's best feature, if she were asked. Anyway, her mom tried to keep it out of her eyes and make the best of a bad situation. But Girl-Child was not one for things in her hair. She often pulled them out within four minutes of their placement there. This drove her mother insane because Girl-Child always had hair hanging in her eyes. Plus it distracted from whatever cute outfit she was wearing because she always looked unfinished.


For her second birthday she got some more hair. She was not at all excited about it; but her mother was thrilled! She finally had enough to even things out a little and joined the Posh Spice Bob Brigade:


But it was still kind of awful.


So for the next one and a half if not longer years her mother let it grow. She never cut the length and only trimmed Girl-Child's bangs when needed. And it grew very long and very well.


And on Saturday, March 15, 2008 her mother took her to the salon for kids; to cut an inch or so off the ends. Her mother forgot to bring her camera with her to document it [specifically for this post] as she had planned to do. Because her mother is an idiot. Also, the stylist at the salon French braided Girl-Child's hair. Something which Girl-Child's mother does not know how to do. Because she skipped the chapter entitled "Things Every Mother of a Daughter Must Know if you Plan to Have a Daughter" in the book about girls. And also since she doesn't know how to braid hair the way those Fray-unch do; it makes her feel less of a woman.

The End